Lyndon Furst's
A Different Perspective
"How Good is a Twelve Dollar Wedding"
POSTED 9/14/09
How Good is a Twelve Dollar Wedding
In the past few years I have attended a number of weddings here in Southwest Michigan as well as elsewhere. Some of them have been simple affairs not costing more than a few hundred dollars. Others have been much more elaborate and I am sure the price tag has been in the many thousands of dollars.. I understand that it is not unusual for typical wedding these days to cost at least $10,000 when all the bills are in. More elaborate ones can be much more than that. Given that the reported divorce rate is about 50% in the United States, one wonders at the value of such expensive weddings. Is it really essential for the beginnings of a strong marriage to pay so much money for the ceremony?
As I thought about this recently, my mind goes back a half-century to another wedding that took place at a little stone church in central Michigan. Neither the bride nor the groom had much money so it was not a very fancy ceremony. They each had only one attendant and the preacher was the groom’s father. Just a few close relatives were present to witness the blessed event. The only decoration was one small bouquet of flowers. The bride had a small corsage and the groom had a carnation boutonniere. Total cost of that simple wedding, about twelve dollars.
So what happened to that frugal couple? With such a penurious start on married life, how effective were the vows? Did they live up to their simple commitment to each other? Well, here we are 50 years later and still counting. During that time there have been three children, eight grandchildren, and one great grandchild. All healthy and full of life. There have been good times, and hard times, and some seemingly impossible times, but we persevered and here we are a half-century later enjoying our golden years together..
People have, on occasion, asked us for the secret to longevity in marriage. There is no magic answer to this. In fact, each successful marriage probably has a different formula for its success. For us, I think it has been stubbornness as much as anything else. We were both determined to stick it out no matter what happened. It did help that we both had the same view on money. Neither of us had any to start with so we did not have high expectations for the future. Early on we started a savings account which we used only for special needs. We faithfully added to it every payday - sometimes only a dollar but whatever amount we consistently stayed with the plan. Having that monetary backup has taken the pressure off in times of special need.
Religion was another area of common agreement. We both have a strong commitment to God and live a conservative lifestyle. We both believe it necessary to have active participation in the life of the Church as well as to pay a faithful tithe. We started our marriage by praying together on a regular basis. It is easier to keep your family commitments when you are on your knees together before God.
We have had many areas of disagreement. Our personality types are radically different which has resulted in conflict on numerous occasions. Yet, we determined not to give up on each other, we are going to stay together no matter what happens. There’s that stubbornness again. Of course it also helps to have a good sense of humor and not take oneself too seriously..
From my perspective, the price of the wedding does not determine the strength of the marriage. Even low-budget ceremonies can result in a lifetime commitment. It takes determination and hard work, compromise and sometimes just plain giving in whether you want to or not. The couple must maximize their areas of agreement and minimize the disagreements. And be a little stubborn too.
I think that twelve dollar wedding was pretty good!